Carleton Eastlake owes me five minutes! He called in late to my radio program — and for a five minutes on LIVE RADIO I was waiting eagerly for him. Of course, I realized that he was in California and probably slept late. Or couldn’t do math and remember that EST means that I am three hour ahead of him. So as I tapped my fingers and blabbered something to keep the show going, I started to worry. I saw Big Ed in the Control Room pulling out his hair — and then I wondered if I had gotten it wrong. Was Carleton Eastlake a real person? It is such a phony name. Sounds like a 5-Star Hotel — The Carleton on Eastlake. Perhaps I was waiting for no one — or perhaps he was one of those Hollywood ditzy blondes.  Can I say that? I mean, I’m a blonde — and I was in Hollywood — so perhaps it is not politically incorrect. And then it occurred to me that Carleton was trying to be stylishly late. You know, make that statement. Walk into the room and make all heads turn. Well, he is a good looking guy. He could pull it off.

Just then Big Ed was waving madly at the telephone — which rang once — and when he answered it no one there. If I have to buy Ed a toupee i am going to bill the 5-Star Hotel!

Five minutes of empty air on LIVE RADIO is not funny! Oh, Carleton, I prayed to the Godesses of Hollywoodland. (Did you know that 90% of the blondes in Hollywood aren’t? The first time I went to a hair salon in LA the hairdresser called everyone over to look at real blonde hair so they would know what they should aim for with all their bottles.) Oh, darn….minutes were flying by….I was running out of ideas…Ed was probably worried that I would start singing “I’m Leaving on a Jet Plane…” ….five minutes is a long time! Where are you, Carleton? That made me smile. It sound like a good title for a book….a film! Where in the World is Carleton Eastlake?

So after AT&T got their act together, I finally heard Carleton’s voice.  

He was worth the wait! Carleton is a hoot — like his debut novel. Funny and quirky and a little bit nuts. So enjoy our little chat — the guys got talent! 

Of course, I knew that — I read his IMDb.  And he’s even in Wikipedia.  — which makes him a real person. Because, of course, everything there is real. Well, at least I know he is not a 5-Star Hotel. 

Oh, and he uses big words like limerence. Generally speaking, people don’t realize how smart screenwriters are — so often they get judged by the blathering dialog of their latest tv project. So 5-Star had some fun here showing off his smarts — he even throws in Mao?  

Altogether it was a great interview. Like talking to an old friend.